Monkey Boy's Playground

Tha Salid Tails

두 번째 (Went one to the left.)

Monkey Boy AJ

So there I was, eating a salad. About 5pm…ish….who cares, it was dinner time, I was hungry and salad sounded good. Trying to eat healthy…..though I’m not sure the half cup of jalapeño ranch helped……whatever.

So as I’m enjoying my salad. Best ever.

But I needed something sweet…so I grab me some Sweat Tarts…..’least I think they were….

All of a sudden my front door explodes. One second it was there, the next it just… wasn’t.

“OH YEAH!!!!”

“REALLY!! I mean COME ON!!

You suck you know that. You’re going to be replacing that thing yourself.

There had better be a damn good reason the Kool-Aid man just unmade my front door.”

“Sorry man. I get in a hurry sometimes.”

“Well, what is it,” as I calm my happy ass back to the real world.

Composing himself the Kool-Aid man lays it out, “I got a call from some shadowy dude about this treasure; thought you’d be in.”

Pondering for a moment, I ask, “What’s the loot?”
The Kool-Aid man gives it to me straight. “I got no idea.”

“Hmmm…” I give it the good college think; “Fuck it; I’m in.”

And with that, the Kool-Aid man tosses me a perfectly wrapped gift box. “Glad you’re in on this, ‘cause I’m too afraid to open that thing.”

Letting off one of the biggest sighs of my life, I, open the box. And to no, real surprise, it doesn’t blow up. Inside I find a map. After looking at it (with help from Google) I figure it points to a place somewhere in the middle of the Arabian Desert.

“OH YEAH!!! We better get to it then.”

Before I know it; there I am in a row boat paddling my happy ass around some lake in the middle of a desert heat way, looking for some cave….or well……picture has been blurred a bit.

As the sun begins to set the Kool-Aid man spots a fire in the distance.

We make way; only thing we got.

So, Ayman, takes a look at the map and points us towards a cave on the far side of the lake, practically where we just came from. Say that’s where the treasure would be if the map is right.

As we traverse the cave, the temperature rises more and more. Before long, we see a dull glow from down the way….a volcanic glow. As we enter the cavern at the end of the tunnel of the cave, we are assaulted by cavemen, bare backing…wait for it… velociraptors.

“Is that anyway to great your great Sheriff,” I boom over the environmental drulls. This actually works in heading their advance.

The leader of the cavemen, “What want you?”

“Look my dude here, got this map (that I SLOWLY pull from my sack), it points us here; some sort of buried treasure. Not sure passed that.” I can see that the leader of the cavemen is deep in thought.

“What have you for me?
I toss him a bag of p-VITAMINS. “That should get you and your boys through a few days of this shit.”

He shows me and Kool to a pit. It’s a dark pits, but not THAT deep, as I’m the lucky duck that got to drop to the bottom.

The Kool-Aid man yells down to me, “See anything little buddy?”

As my eyes pierce through the darkness, “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!”

The Kool-Aid man yells down, “WHAT”D YOU FIND?!”

I shout at the top of my lungs, “A METRIC FUCK TON OF

And then I wake up to my bitch ass alarm going off.